First the forgotten Starbucks gift cards (but the cute little pouches were a nice gift!?!?!), then the surprise field trip and now? I woke up last night around 1:30 am and remembered that today was Em's snack day at school for her birthday. I was supposed to make brownies for it!! So, I had to get up at the crack of dawn, on an overcast, foggy morning, and make brownies. Of course, I hardly slept last night, so this was a daunting task.
When I cannot sleep at night, my mind goes wild. For some reason, small annoyances become monsters, lurking in the cobwebs of my minds waiting to pounce out on someone. Last night, as I lay in bed, my heart racing thinking about brownies, I started to think about full day kindergarten and the letter I have yet to send. Is it worth it? Will anyone care? or listen?? Then I moved on to Kt's class. She is underchallenged, thus creating a huge behavior issue. I used to laugh at parents who tried to tell me their child wasn't being challenged - few were correct. I think I'm correct here. She has brought home probably between 8-10 reading comprehension papers THIS WHOLE YEAR! Last year she had 3-4 a WEEK!!! She was also "selected" early in the year to do an enrichment project with the GT teacher. She was SOO excited, she came home, filled out the "application" and turned it in the next day. She was placed in the last group of students, who were to begin early December. Now it looks like her group will not get to do anything at all. I could not sleep about this....
Ordinarily, these kinds of things annoy me and then we move on! But in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep because my mind has failed me, these annoyances become paramount in my life, as if I don't have more important things to worry about... I think I may be losing my mind, getting old and sleep deprived all at the same time.
Now, in all this, I got myself out of bed at 7 (which is early for me) and made those brownies. While they were baking I read through Psalm 89, some of my Perspectives reading. The Psalm (I hope I've got the right one, now I'm starting to doubt myself because I'm still tired!) recapped the Davidic Covenant. The Perspectives Reading was on God as a Missionary God and his covenant with Abraham. What stood out to me was the idea the when God made covenants with these men, it was more about what God would do, less about their part. This was a point well taken from my reading but also applied in Psalms.
So, while I'm up all night, worrying about education (or lack thereof), brownies and full day kindergarten God wants to do something for me. If I can get past myself, He's waiting. Does that seem about right? I can see why, in a performance driven world we miss that point exactly. While we're (pardon the phrase) working our butts off to make things happen, He's sitting up there wanting to do something big for us. I'm just too busy most of the time to take the time to let Him. What is wrong with me?
So, God, thanks for the brownie moment. I'm not asking for more, but I accept this small gesture of Yours to point out what I'm missing. Thank you that this time you did not use something catastrophic to get my attention, just a simple, chocolate treat. You know me so well! And paired with the sweet aroma of warm, chocolate brownies, this is a lesson I won't soon forget!
When I cannot sleep at night, my mind goes wild. For some reason, small annoyances become monsters, lurking in the cobwebs of my minds waiting to pounce out on someone. Last night, as I lay in bed, my heart racing thinking about brownies, I started to think about full day kindergarten and the letter I have yet to send. Is it worth it? Will anyone care? or listen?? Then I moved on to Kt's class. She is underchallenged, thus creating a huge behavior issue. I used to laugh at parents who tried to tell me their child wasn't being challenged - few were correct. I think I'm correct here. She has brought home probably between 8-10 reading comprehension papers THIS WHOLE YEAR! Last year she had 3-4 a WEEK!!! She was also "selected" early in the year to do an enrichment project with the GT teacher. She was SOO excited, she came home, filled out the "application" and turned it in the next day. She was placed in the last group of students, who were to begin early December. Now it looks like her group will not get to do anything at all. I could not sleep about this....
Ordinarily, these kinds of things annoy me and then we move on! But in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep because my mind has failed me, these annoyances become paramount in my life, as if I don't have more important things to worry about... I think I may be losing my mind, getting old and sleep deprived all at the same time.
Now, in all this, I got myself out of bed at 7 (which is early for me) and made those brownies. While they were baking I read through Psalm 89, some of my Perspectives reading. The Psalm (I hope I've got the right one, now I'm starting to doubt myself because I'm still tired!) recapped the Davidic Covenant. The Perspectives Reading was on God as a Missionary God and his covenant with Abraham. What stood out to me was the idea the when God made covenants with these men, it was more about what God would do, less about their part. This was a point well taken from my reading but also applied in Psalms.
So, while I'm up all night, worrying about education (or lack thereof), brownies and full day kindergarten God wants to do something for me. If I can get past myself, He's waiting. Does that seem about right? I can see why, in a performance driven world we miss that point exactly. While we're (pardon the phrase) working our butts off to make things happen, He's sitting up there wanting to do something big for us. I'm just too busy most of the time to take the time to let Him. What is wrong with me?
So, God, thanks for the brownie moment. I'm not asking for more, but I accept this small gesture of Yours to point out what I'm missing. Thank you that this time you did not use something catastrophic to get my attention, just a simple, chocolate treat. You know me so well! And paired with the sweet aroma of warm, chocolate brownies, this is a lesson I won't soon forget!
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