Sunday, January 29, 2006

Church

I got up today at the crack of dawn - at least for me, that is! 7:45 isn't my thing, especially on the weekends. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I have to go get a real job again! I went up to church to help out in the Totzone this morning, as the numbers of little kids have increased substantially since we opened the new building.

I met some nice women, some really adorable toddlers/infants, some super parents and ended up feeling a bit disheartened by the lack of willingness many people have to serve. Everywhere I turned this morning they were looking for someone to help. We had too many toddlers (sent some away), too many infants (one young mom offered to stay and didn't enjoy it!), not enough check in people (I actually hung around when I was done to check in for the second service), and if that wasn't enough! I stopped in to grab a bite to eat - a woman, as her ministry, provides great food to those who work in the TotZone - and she was trying to recruit, likely from the wrong crowd! - someone to do clean up for her so she doesn't have to stay for both services.

While I was walking into church late I ran into a friend who asked if I was still doing games for the kidzone K-1st grade. I told her no, that I wasn't. I did that for two years, every week I put together "games" for 100 students, divided them up into six groups, gathered together various pieces, delivered them to church, where I had to clean up after last week, file everything away and deliver the following weeks games. Along with this came the quarterly planning, leaving pages of copying, picking up the copies in close to two xerox boxes and storing them at my house while I cut, stapled, glued and organized all these "games." Many times, only 2 or 3 were used on Sunday, so it was slightly frustrating doing all that work when they probably only needed about half of it. This friend of mine used to organize the crafts for these same grades - of course, no one ever told me she did that and it might have been helpful to know. She also was frustrated for many of the same reasons so she quit. She told me today that they don't have crafts or games now - nothing.

Now, I have just come from working first with toddler 1's - the crawlers, moved to infants because they were shorthanded, filled in for check in because they needed someone to finding out there is still no one to fill in for a job that I gave up. I am easily guilted into things, so I'm starting to get a little leary... I went on to church. It was a fabulous message about living by the word. I'm going to make t listen to it online. Great points, and I was sort of wondering how it all fit in with these situations if at all.

I leave the service, where I also ran into a woman from my Grief Share group who three years ago lost her husband. She is the mother three teenage girls and son in kindergarten. This, of course, reminded me of how much that group meant to me and what an important ministry that is in the church. I had always thought that I would return to help with that...

I picked up Em, then headed to the KidZone to pick up Kt. As I was nearing her, a woman approached me and stated that she decided to stay and help in Kt's class today as the teacher, a woman who Kt LOVES and has invested a lot of time into Kt's desire to know her Bible, did not show up today and no one was sure she was ever returning. (huh??) She informed me that they needed a teacher, she was going to come next week and that my daughter seemed bored through the entire class because there was nothing planned for the children to do. Now, I'm not sure what to believe because on the way out my daughter proceeded to educate me on Jesus as the vine, we as the branches and how He cuts off the dead branches. I'm thinking she learned something, I don't have a clue who taught her, but someone did!

As I was leaving today, my head was spinning with all the needs that were presented to me. I am reminded that I am limited in what I can do, that I need some guidance as to where I am to serve BUT I don't want to sit around and wait. I want to get my hands a little dirty and let God speak to me about what He wants me to do. If I'm not in his kingdom, how can I hear Him? I'm just not sure. There are so many opportunities, so many needs, it's a little overwhelming.

Could it be that I find the answer to this "where do I serve?" question in His word? In searching for His heart in all of this?? I'll think about it tonight as I head back up to church to serve with the little kids again for the Fusion service!

(Disclaimer: very few of my Sundays look like this!)

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