Peace like a River

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say
"It is well, it is well with my soul."
It is well with my soul, It is well, it is well with my soul.
-Horatio Spafford

This has always been one of my favorite, favorite songs. This song, along with the story that accompanies it, just seems appropriate for me today. This is an interesting day - one that I've blogged about before. Three years ago, 3/3/03, my dad died. He LOVED numbers, their significance. That makes today even more interesting to me - 3 years, 3rd month, 3rd day, 3rd year of the new millenium... Really, no significance, but of a bit of interest..

This along with my study yesterday on peace - God always is intentional with us, isn't He. He leaves no stone unturned, but sometimes we forget to look at them! In fact, I think it's likely most of the time for me. I'd rather turn them over myself, even though I know He does a better job!

To say I really miss my dad is an understatement - my heart really aches for him. I miss him terribly. In fact, I STILL have things sitting around my house for him to hang on the walls. That was his job here. It's been three years, and I still can't bring myself to hang them myself or even ask anyone else to do that job.

My girls, when they pray each night, tend to pray for my dad a lot. It's kind of interesting. As many times as I tell them they don't need to anymore, they do reveal a lot of what they felt for him in their prayers. Their love for him, at their young ages of 2 and 5 when he died, ran very deep. He was their Pabu, they were his Katerader and Emilator. (T was the "Tonster" for anyone who is wondering!!) And me? I was Dinky Doo - I guess that was the name that stuck for him, but he was the only one who called me that. I think we all miss our names and my silly dad. Even our dog was "El Calvino" - not sure when he switched to the Spanish version of names!!

So, how does our family remember those we've lost?? Well, I can tell you we almost never go to that cemetery. And I'm a little surprised I'm even acknowledging this day. We often talk about my dad, joke about him, wonder what he's doing right now. It's not really about a day, although we use it as our marker in time. We can now say we've been without him for three years and try to figure out what we've done with that time.

I'll just do what my dad told me to do. It was the last thing he said directed to me. He just said, "Stay busy." It was that simple. I'll translate that into, "Don't sit around and whine about me not being there. Get up, do something, don't be idle. There's a lot of life left to be lived!" My mom is the perfect example of this! She did exactly what he said. She travels, meets with friends, is involved at her church, and has a list of places she'd like to go. I really admire her for not letting this great loss turn her into some old spinster. She has been a rock for our family. Maybe that's why we all fight over her all the time!!

So, today, instead of sitting around crying about life without dad (which I never really do anyway!) I did what I normally do and then spent a little time with Em, a little lunch date at the mall. Later I will try to run over to Kt's school while she participates in the Jump Rope for Heart. Then tonight, spend the evening enjoying my family!! I mean, that's exactly what my dad liked to do (oh, yeah, and watch TV, too!).

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.