Identity crisis, that's what!! At least for my husband. T has a Chinese middle name that he has not widely advertised. The reason being that at our last church, while working with youth, he did and the kids were relentless with the usage of it. It was funny for a time, but it soon became a bit disrespectful, so he has chosen not to reveal it for the 10 years we have been in our new church, new friends, etc.
Just recently, T has been gathering together personal information and the need arose for him to get a copy of his birth certificate. He pulled out his "original" copy, which is a cute certificate from the hospital with his little footprints on it and handwritten his name and birthdate. It actually doesn't look all that official, it looks more like the decorative copy a hospital might give you upon leaving, but not a certified copy you might receive from the department of health. The interesting thing he noted about this handwritten certificate was that it had only two names on it, his Chinese name and his last name. Missing from this certificate was his first name, the one we all use for him, the one that is on all his school records, his driver's license, his passport, etc. Where was his name???
To confuse matters all the more, he was born in Montgomery County, where you can only apply for your birth certificate online, by phone or by showing up in Baltimore where no other country records other than your birth certificate are. When he applied for his birth certificate over the phone, they didn't want to send it to him, claiming he was a third party requesting this information. He had to gently explain to the woman that he was the person whose birth certificate was being requested and he had no idea why his name was different! How strange!!
Because this has created a bit of question, T went to the source of the issue, his parents. Being an only child of first generation chinese immigrants, we really have no understanding of what life was like for his parents as young, newly married new parents. Up until T registered for school, they spoke only chinese at home and enjoyed their culture within the confines of their home and friends. Once they went to register him for school, however, all that changed. They were told that all children have an "english" name and they needed to choose one for their son. Maybe there is some truth to him being named after some tiger on a cereal box afterall! So, he was given the name he has come to call his own at kindergarten registration, and somehow that name has followed him on all his other earthly identification documents, except for that birth certificate!!
Now, this has created a bit of an identity crisis - not really, I'm kidding, but think about it. Am I really married? Did he really graduate? Does he hold a valid driver's license? or passport? Of course, I'm laughing at all this. What a crazy thing for a school system to do, but it was another time.
I think we take for granted what life is like for families who immigrate here to the US. While it may be an improvement for them in some ways, there are many things they lose when coming here, identity being the most obvious. What if they had decided not to change their son's name, what would that have meant for my husband? I saw what he endured as a well-loved youth leader with a chinese name. What would that have looked like having to endure years of school with an "ethnic" name? These days, that's not so uncommon, but clearly it was back when he was growing up. Interesting... now we're off to change some documents to make his name, the one we all know him by, as permanent!
Just recently, T has been gathering together personal information and the need arose for him to get a copy of his birth certificate. He pulled out his "original" copy, which is a cute certificate from the hospital with his little footprints on it and handwritten his name and birthdate. It actually doesn't look all that official, it looks more like the decorative copy a hospital might give you upon leaving, but not a certified copy you might receive from the department of health. The interesting thing he noted about this handwritten certificate was that it had only two names on it, his Chinese name and his last name. Missing from this certificate was his first name, the one we all use for him, the one that is on all his school records, his driver's license, his passport, etc. Where was his name???
To confuse matters all the more, he was born in Montgomery County, where you can only apply for your birth certificate online, by phone or by showing up in Baltimore where no other country records other than your birth certificate are. When he applied for his birth certificate over the phone, they didn't want to send it to him, claiming he was a third party requesting this information. He had to gently explain to the woman that he was the person whose birth certificate was being requested and he had no idea why his name was different! How strange!!
Because this has created a bit of question, T went to the source of the issue, his parents. Being an only child of first generation chinese immigrants, we really have no understanding of what life was like for his parents as young, newly married new parents. Up until T registered for school, they spoke only chinese at home and enjoyed their culture within the confines of their home and friends. Once they went to register him for school, however, all that changed. They were told that all children have an "english" name and they needed to choose one for their son. Maybe there is some truth to him being named after some tiger on a cereal box afterall! So, he was given the name he has come to call his own at kindergarten registration, and somehow that name has followed him on all his other earthly identification documents, except for that birth certificate!!
Now, this has created a bit of an identity crisis - not really, I'm kidding, but think about it. Am I really married? Did he really graduate? Does he hold a valid driver's license? or passport? Of course, I'm laughing at all this. What a crazy thing for a school system to do, but it was another time.
I think we take for granted what life is like for families who immigrate here to the US. While it may be an improvement for them in some ways, there are many things they lose when coming here, identity being the most obvious. What if they had decided not to change their son's name, what would that have meant for my husband? I saw what he endured as a well-loved youth leader with a chinese name. What would that have looked like having to endure years of school with an "ethnic" name? These days, that's not so uncommon, but clearly it was back when he was growing up. Interesting... now we're off to change some documents to make his name, the one we all know him by, as permanent!
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