Thursday, November 03, 2005

Parent Teacher Conferences

These are coming up shortly, and I've already started my list of questions. You see, I'm that psycho former teacher mom who would have done everything differently but I'll give the teacher a chance for the first quarter to improve! Actually, it's not that bad, I'm really kidding, but that's the way it feels to a teacher, and I know that because I was a teacher. The worst parent/teacher conferences were the ones with people who knew what they were talking about. It seems a teacher can never measure up to a fellow teacher.

The truth is, Kt is having a wonderful year. I have only one concern really - which is big for me! Last year we just had too many concerns they didn't all fit into that little teeny conference. We had social issues, reading issues, math issues, PE class issues... It was ridiculous. This year we are getting off easy. Only one question: why is reading so easy this year?? I mean, last year we pretty much ruined the whole year with a move to the "high" reading class because they tried to convince me that my daughter was super above level in reading, and even though I challenged that belief, they didn't listen to me. ALL OF A SUDDEN, my daughter is now in one of the lower reading classes. Could I have been right all along??? They'll never admit to that, so I won't even go there!

Here are some good questions to ask at a conference when you don't have any big issues to discuss:

- How well does my child get along with other students? Can he/she solve issues without the help of an adult? or does he/she typically rely on an adult to intercede?

- Is my child obedient in class? Does he/she have any problem staying on task or completing work on time? If so, what seems to be the biggest thing that interferes with that happening?

- What enrichment activities are available to my child when their work is complete?

- What kinds of questions can I ask my child about their day? (I'm looking here for some guidance as to what goes on each day, are there names for different activities, do they get regular computer time, what does my child enjoy that I can ask him/her about?)

- How can I help my child be successful? Are there any areas where I need to improve my responsibilities at home to help the teacher at school?

- What big projects do I need to watch out for in the coming months? (Our school sends no info home about monthly units or math chapters, etc. We have to ask!)

- Can you (the teacher) tell me who my child's friends are and who you would choose as a good match for them? (Listen to the teacher - don't ask who they should stay away from, but if they have someone in mind for your child it's likely someone who is a good match in ability level and a good personality match.)

- Are there opportunities for my child to help other students? Does my child respond favorably to those requests?

This is just a start. If I had a child who was having behavioral issues, I would still ask these questions, but I would also ask the teacher if she/he felt that there were "physical" issues I might want to explore. A teacher cannot suggest anything to you, such at ADD or ADHD, but if you ask they can certainly steer you in that direction. I'd get several opinions at lower levels (K - 1st) if the teacher suggests this possibility. Many times it's a developmental or learning issue that appears like ADHD, so ask a doctor, too. In upper grades, the teacher is going to see more signs in penmanship, independent work and social interactions that are more directive.

I'm sure we'll have a stellar conference, no surprises. Kt's an ideal student most of the time. She LOVES school! Even last year, you would have thought we were crazy to suggest there were issues, but her teacher agreed with each of them as we brought them up. They were there, but she was still a little angel in her teacher's eyes.

Best of luck to all parents out there on these conferences! If you want to add any questions, I'd love to hear them!

1 comment:

deanna said...

Just a warning. Here's what my mom had to say about parents like me (and it's a wonder I have any self-esteem!): "Well let me tell you, after reading your list of questions to ask the teacher at a conference – I hope none of my parents read your blog EVER. You are what we all do not want to see enter out doorways for a conference – our worst nightmare."