We are not huge readers of a paper newspaper around here. That would be evident by the pile of newspapers accumulating at the end of our driveway and in our garbage can, most of which never make it into the warmth of our home, heated by gas the constant usage of our computers! When these newspapers started arriving a couple months ago I was extremely annoyed. We are constantly getting calls from the Baltimore Sun and the Washington Post about "6 free weeks" of the paper, which eventually turn into very, very expensive weeks before you have a chance to cancel it!! I always politely decline, explaining that we read one newspaper a week, on Sunday, love the comics, coupons, etc. We also get our local little paper on Thursdays and we read that, but any daily news we get from the web. Otherwise, they are all just wasting paper on us!!
So, when these newspapers started piling up I left them out front hoping the newspaper man would figure out that he's delivering the paper to the wrong house. Surely, some other sucker in my neighborhood fell for the "free newspaper" gimmick. I would have NEVER agreed to this madness!! After about a week and seven newspapers later, neighbors asking my why I'm not taking my paper in, I complained to T, who had also been driving over them everyday and not mentioning them to me. I asked him to contact the Washington Post and let them know someone is mistakenly delivering mass numbers of unwanted newspapers to us. His reply, "Well, they called the other day and we get them for FREE! I said sure. I'm sure it will stop coming when the 6 weeks is up!"
Can you even imagine my reaction???? I mean, many, many adjectives poured through my head while he is saying these words to me, none of them very flattering! Instead, I started asking him a string of questions like, "When do you plan on starting to read, let alone BRING IN, any of these papers?" "What is your plan for canceling this paper while still trying to get them to keep our Sunday paper at our original rate?" "What do you plan on doing with all these newspapers?????" "What could we possibly do with all this newspaper other than throw it all away?" And finally, "How could you be so.....?" I won't fill in the word I used, it wasn't very nice, but I was pretty fed up.
Here we are, more than six weeks into this "free paper" scam and guess what??? We're still getting this thing, it still sits at the bottom of our driveway everyday, it hasn't stopped, we haven't gotten any phone call asking if we want to continue or stop this madness. So what next? I'm just waiting for that rather LARGE bill from the Washington Post - I know it's coming and it serves T right!! I've had neighbors ask me why I leave these daily papers at the end of our driveway and they all know now that it's T job to take care of them. And now the search is on; what to do with all this newspaper.
The amount of newspaper that we have is probably enough to use as dropcloths to paint our entire house, all the furniture in it and still have enough to sit around and read while it is all drying. We probably have enough to pack our house up to move, and bring a couple neighbors with us! We might even have enough to fill our own recycling drive truck - we used to do this as a band fundraiser! Maybe we should do this as a missions trip fundraiser and just fill one ourselves!
I'm exaggerating, of course, but I'll tell you what: I know what newspaper can do when it's used as a prank. In fact, I've been the victim of such a prank. I have the pictures to prove it - although I seem to have misplaced them! My friend, M, might have a couple lying around because his wife was also the victim of this particular practical joke. During our freshman year at Gordon College, we had these three guy friends, one of whom was from my home church, his roommate and their friend, who is an aspiring politician. He made sure he wasn't in any of the follow-up photos, although I might have caught him cleaning up the mess, and he's the one who actually collected the ammunition. I mean, there wasn't another college student, to my knowledge, who received a daily New York Times and hid every issue that he received from the end of August until Thanksgiving, under his bed, his roommate's bed, his friend's beds... catch my drift??? This practical joke was in the planning for months, and it was expertly executed. What they couldn't plan for was....
K and I returning from our first Thanksgiving home. Mine was not so sweet. I had broken up with my boyfriend of over 4 years and my mom was really mad at me, long, long story. We returned back at school quite late (I was thinking this was the year my car broke down in Hartford and I had to wait for hours for my parents to arrive with another car AND my roommate, whose ride had broken down near their house - very crazy - but I didn't have a car freshman year, so that couldn't be the case!). We were in no mood to be cleaning up a room we had left fairly clean - thankfully! but looking forward to heading over to the snack shop with friends and exchanging "first time back home" stories.
I knew something was wrong when I unlocked my Lewis Hall room door but couldn't budge the door open at all. I mean, it was jammed. Being college property (sorry Gordon!) I gave it a good push and kick and that's when I started to see it. At first, I didn't have a clue what was going on, but crinkled up newspaper started appearing at the door openings, floor to ceiling. I had to pull it out to get in. After pulling out armloads of this stuff I finally got the door open only to find that my entire college dorm room was filled with newspaper, floor to ceiling, in every crevice, in my closets, under beds, over beds, in and under our desks. I was fuming!! So was my roommate, who painstakingly kept her side of the room squeaky clean - (pity her to have me as her roommate!! God played a little joke on her!)
Needless to say, I've never seen or heard of a better practical joke in my life at a college. One might have wondered as these three stooges stayed at school for the holiday when they all live quite close, but I never would have dreamed a stunt like this. We got them back, sort of, by making them clean it all up. Of course, the blackprint residue remained on everything for quite some time. It was a great grand finale to a series of practical jokes that we had been exchanging with each other for months. I guess it only fueled their flame to do something big. Maybe someday I'll write about all those practical jokes, but for now, back to newspaper.
These guys were fortunate to have chosen a room that was the closest to the garbage room in the basement. They filled that room to overflowing. The RA had to call physical plant the next day to make 2 - that was TWO - special trips with the garbage truck so they could fill it with the many, many bags of newspaper from our room. None of us had gotten much sleep the night before. We were dragging our feet. After weeks of these practical jokes, it was the newspaper that did us all in. I mean, what could we possibly do after something that big. I had to move on to other friends to exchange practical jokes with as these guys had just gone way too far!!
As I see this newspaper piling up I'm remembering that I could fill an entire HUD dorm room with all this newspaper - and they still had some to spare. It's a lot of newspaper. What a waste. T - if you're reading this, you better watch out!! I might just have to try this at home in your office! Of course, I'd be the one stuck cleaning it up. Practical jokes just aren't the same when they are in YOUR home!
So, when these newspapers started piling up I left them out front hoping the newspaper man would figure out that he's delivering the paper to the wrong house. Surely, some other sucker in my neighborhood fell for the "free newspaper" gimmick. I would have NEVER agreed to this madness!! After about a week and seven newspapers later, neighbors asking my why I'm not taking my paper in, I complained to T, who had also been driving over them everyday and not mentioning them to me. I asked him to contact the Washington Post and let them know someone is mistakenly delivering mass numbers of unwanted newspapers to us. His reply, "Well, they called the other day and we get them for FREE! I said sure. I'm sure it will stop coming when the 6 weeks is up!"
Can you even imagine my reaction???? I mean, many, many adjectives poured through my head while he is saying these words to me, none of them very flattering! Instead, I started asking him a string of questions like, "When do you plan on starting to read, let alone BRING IN, any of these papers?" "What is your plan for canceling this paper while still trying to get them to keep our Sunday paper at our original rate?" "What do you plan on doing with all these newspapers?????" "What could we possibly do with all this newspaper other than throw it all away?" And finally, "How could you be so.....?" I won't fill in the word I used, it wasn't very nice, but I was pretty fed up.
Here we are, more than six weeks into this "free paper" scam and guess what??? We're still getting this thing, it still sits at the bottom of our driveway everyday, it hasn't stopped, we haven't gotten any phone call asking if we want to continue or stop this madness. So what next? I'm just waiting for that rather LARGE bill from the Washington Post - I know it's coming and it serves T right!! I've had neighbors ask me why I leave these daily papers at the end of our driveway and they all know now that it's T job to take care of them. And now the search is on; what to do with all this newspaper.
The amount of newspaper that we have is probably enough to use as dropcloths to paint our entire house, all the furniture in it and still have enough to sit around and read while it is all drying. We probably have enough to pack our house up to move, and bring a couple neighbors with us! We might even have enough to fill our own recycling drive truck - we used to do this as a band fundraiser! Maybe we should do this as a missions trip fundraiser and just fill one ourselves!
I'm exaggerating, of course, but I'll tell you what: I know what newspaper can do when it's used as a prank. In fact, I've been the victim of such a prank. I have the pictures to prove it - although I seem to have misplaced them! My friend, M, might have a couple lying around because his wife was also the victim of this particular practical joke. During our freshman year at Gordon College, we had these three guy friends, one of whom was from my home church, his roommate and their friend, who is an aspiring politician. He made sure he wasn't in any of the follow-up photos, although I might have caught him cleaning up the mess, and he's the one who actually collected the ammunition. I mean, there wasn't another college student, to my knowledge, who received a daily New York Times and hid every issue that he received from the end of August until Thanksgiving, under his bed, his roommate's bed, his friend's beds... catch my drift??? This practical joke was in the planning for months, and it was expertly executed. What they couldn't plan for was....
K and I returning from our first Thanksgiving home. Mine was not so sweet. I had broken up with my boyfriend of over 4 years and my mom was really mad at me, long, long story. We returned back at school quite late (I was thinking this was the year my car broke down in Hartford and I had to wait for hours for my parents to arrive with another car AND my roommate, whose ride had broken down near their house - very crazy - but I didn't have a car freshman year, so that couldn't be the case!). We were in no mood to be cleaning up a room we had left fairly clean - thankfully! but looking forward to heading over to the snack shop with friends and exchanging "first time back home" stories.
I knew something was wrong when I unlocked my Lewis Hall room door but couldn't budge the door open at all. I mean, it was jammed. Being college property (sorry Gordon!) I gave it a good push and kick and that's when I started to see it. At first, I didn't have a clue what was going on, but crinkled up newspaper started appearing at the door openings, floor to ceiling. I had to pull it out to get in. After pulling out armloads of this stuff I finally got the door open only to find that my entire college dorm room was filled with newspaper, floor to ceiling, in every crevice, in my closets, under beds, over beds, in and under our desks. I was fuming!! So was my roommate, who painstakingly kept her side of the room squeaky clean - (pity her to have me as her roommate!! God played a little joke on her!)
Needless to say, I've never seen or heard of a better practical joke in my life at a college. One might have wondered as these three stooges stayed at school for the holiday when they all live quite close, but I never would have dreamed a stunt like this. We got them back, sort of, by making them clean it all up. Of course, the blackprint residue remained on everything for quite some time. It was a great grand finale to a series of practical jokes that we had been exchanging with each other for months. I guess it only fueled their flame to do something big. Maybe someday I'll write about all those practical jokes, but for now, back to newspaper.
These guys were fortunate to have chosen a room that was the closest to the garbage room in the basement. They filled that room to overflowing. The RA had to call physical plant the next day to make 2 - that was TWO - special trips with the garbage truck so they could fill it with the many, many bags of newspaper from our room. None of us had gotten much sleep the night before. We were dragging our feet. After weeks of these practical jokes, it was the newspaper that did us all in. I mean, what could we possibly do after something that big. I had to move on to other friends to exchange practical jokes with as these guys had just gone way too far!!
As I see this newspaper piling up I'm remembering that I could fill an entire HUD dorm room with all this newspaper - and they still had some to spare. It's a lot of newspaper. What a waste. T - if you're reading this, you better watch out!! I might just have to try this at home in your office! Of course, I'd be the one stuck cleaning it up. Practical jokes just aren't the same when they are in YOUR home!
2 comments:
that has happened a lot here. another one is with tin foil. one night, these guys snuck in this other kids room and wrapped EVERYTHING he owned in aluminum foil... clothes, computer, etc. another one was acorns because there are lots of those on campus. these guys filled buckets with acorns and dumped them on this kid while he was sleeping. we duct-taped the door to our RAs room so they had to cut their way out. it's just SO much fun. :)
Ahhh, so refreshing to hear that the fun continues on college campuses!! There was an even funnier one - two friends of mine, roommates. One roommate had access to the huge factory sized rolls of plastic wrap. He took his best friend/roommates jeep, drove it up in front of the gym one Thursday night, before Friday convocation (before we had the huge cathedral), had "public safety" put a big old ticket on it and then proceeded to wrap it, top to bottom, in this plastic wrap. As everyone walked by it into convocation they just busted out laughing - it was great. We did other wonderfully crazy things with that awesome plastic wrap.... I've got more, but I'll email them so they can belong to only you!
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