Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 63. He would have been retired by now and he and my mom would probably be living somewhere in Virginia or North Carolina. At least that was the plan. T had agreed that if they retired and moved down here that we would move closer to them, so that was our plan. I don't know if we would have done that or they would have done that, but I know now that will never happen.

Sometimes, we think we have the perfect plan. I would LOVE to live near my family. Instead, my mom and brother and sister-in-law live 5 hours to the north and my sister lives 9 hours to the south. That's in no traffic! I'm stuck in the middle, 3 hours away from the nearest beach, too far north to be warm but too far south to be close to my mom. I liked my plan, but I guess I'll have to come up with another one or just wait to see what God's plan is.

So, my dad. 63, and would have been loving life as a retired grandpa. He now has two more grandchildren whom he has never met. He also has a new car - and apparently he is still getting some mail! Just next week, it will be 4 years since he went to heaven. In some ways I can't believe it's been that long. In other ways, I feel like I just saw him, talked to him and hugged him yesterday. We would have celebrated our birthdays together as usual, or he would have whisked my mom off on some cross country adventure. I can still hear him saying to me, "Stay busy." I guess I listened!

I don't really think saying that I miss my dad really covers the range of my feelings. It's so much more than missing or wishing he was still here. When I think of all the things he has missed it makes me grieve for him, for us, for me. When I think of where he is now, I am humbled to realize that the plan for our lives is so much bigger than here, now, earth and our temporary bodies. Life everlasting. It's so much better than life temporal.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! I'll see you soon!

Picture: My dad's dream was to retire in a house on a lake. This is him vacationing on Lovell Pond in Maine.

Here's a little story Em just wrote about Pabu. He died just after her second birthday, so she does not remember much!

Today was Pabu’s birthday. He’s turning 63. He died already and he’s in heaven. But I want him to come back. But when I die he’s going to be up there waiting for me. Pabu was my best grandfather. He loved to eat M&M’s with us and he had his own chair. His chair is pink and I don’t know why because he’s a boy. And his chair - the bottom of it can come up and it can also massage, it can like vibrate or something. The End.