This year, I've been "fortunate" enough to have a tutoring job. Fortunate only in the sense that it's during the day, not after school and it's nice to have a little extra money. Lately, though, the job has been very frustrating. In fact, it's been so frustrating, I've been seriously wondering if teaching/working with kids/in education is really for me!
I'm tutoring a failed high school senior, and he's been less than honest with me about passing in important work and very immature in his attitude in general about learning. He is insistent on wanting to go to college, but he doesn't seem at all motivated to work to get there. I think we have a chance at graduating him, this is unless he continues to lie to me. I'm growing very impatient!!
This morning I had my parent volunteer tutoring sessions. In light of all I've been going through in my other tutoring situation, being around children has just been exhausting me! I picked up my third grader, wishing the kids had had a late open and I didn't have to be there and my student brought along her pencil box, gave me a pencil and said, "This is for you because it's my birthday!!" I thought that was cute.
Then I pulled out her folder and we sat down. Just recently, another parent started working with this student. All we are doing is going over sight words - it's very tedious and the students generally don't respond very well to this kind of continuous rote "learning." As I was getting ready to read what she did with her other parent volunteer, she admitted to me that they had had a "little fight." Apparently, the other tutor showed up at story time, and she was extremely reluctant to leave her class. She decided she didn't want to work with her other tutor.
Honestly, I just don't know where kids get these ideas that they have a choice, but I went along with her train of thought. Her teacher had her write an apology letter to this tutor, but the volunteer parent quit - I don't blame her! At the same time, giving in to a third grader only empowers them to repeat that same behavior. And some day, they might find themselves in the position of needing a tutor in order to graduate high school!!
Her teacher later told me that she was shocked, that this girl seems to love me and we've never had any problems (at least none that I've fessed up to!). I really just thought it was the timing, the change to something new and different and not the tutor at all. It has been good for me to think through all this, because I definitely tend to take things personally. In actuality, these kids are just expressing their feeling through the only thing that has ever gotten them the attention they want - refusing to perform. It's quite sad, and it's very dangerous. Note to self - don't let my own children fall into this bad habit!
As good of a student as I was, I can pinpoint areas in my life where I refused to perform because I was unhappy, or mad or just wanted to make a point. Sometimes, it may have been the right thing to do, but not always and it never benefited me to act that way. I think the very same root behavior that is so infuriating to me now is something that I've actually done myself! And very wrongly. I'll have to remind myself of that when it happens, because as I know well, it's very annoying!
I'm off to tutor... wish me luck!
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