I'm Not Who I Was

by Brandon Heath

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

I have heard this song many times but never really listened to the lyrics until today. It reminded me of the conversation the other night about high school reunions. My friend who attended hers shared that she was not a believer in high school, so going back was amazing for her. She found others who had also "found Jesus" or old friends who had been Christians all along.

My high school senior yearbook was kind of funny because a bit after school was out they mailed us this "senior insert" that we were supposed to tuck into the back of that encyclopedia sized monster. It was a cute little addendum and there were some interesting things in there. Namely, one student had mentioned that he became a believer and I thought.... I wish I had known. I didn't pay much attention to the 570+ seniors I graduated with, but I wish I had.

Now it's almost 20 years later, and next year, when I maybe head to my reunion, in my mind most of those people will still be in high school. But they really won't be, and I'll have to remember that they are not who they were. I know there will be some who didn't ever grow up, but I want to be more aware of those who have changed in many ways, and be interested in who they really are. No preconceived notions. Not easy, but I want to try and practice some amazing grace!