(I thought that looked strange when I spelled it wrong. How ironic - LOL!)
Well, it's pretty likely that in the position of "pseudo-social worker" there are likely many things that can get past me. I'll admit it - I'm a sucker for a sob story, and while empathy may not be a strength of mine, sympathy is. I'm also not so adept at reading all the various forms and printouts DSS provides. It's obviously a learned (interpretation) skill!
I helped out again today with the registration for the Salvation Army, and truthfully, I can't go into a lot of detail as the information I see when I do this is extremely confidential. But here is a small taste....
- a sweet man on dialysis, has brought his two year old with him, listed another little girl on his application.... no birth certificates or social security cards....their mother has them and is holding on to them.... are they his? He was sweet! He did know they like Dora the Explorer....
- everyone wants a Nintendo DS for their child. Mind you, the gifts must be $30 or under.
- a family of ?, living on SS, food stamps, housing assistance - their Comcast bill is $400 monthly...?? That's without the late fees and cut off notice fee....
- a woman in a wheelchair, on disability, asks for one and only one gift: roller skates.
Now, I might be naive when it comes to TCA, SSI, and Section 8 housing, but there are some things you can't put past me. Well, unless it's a good day! LOL It's been eye opening. Truthfully, I don't know who I feel worse for: the families who don't work, live off nothing and are barely making and seem hopeless OR the single moms who are working their butts off, out making a living and because of their effort are barely squeaking into programs like these that are actually meant for them. You almost have to not work to get benefits - something is so wrong with that!
I can also say that I've never been happier that I am a tax paying citizen, because I can see that some of my money is actually being allocated to people in need. Sadly, it's just not enough in most cases and there is a definite racial injustice involved - that's just obvious to the eye. And the only way to get more money? Have more kids... and so the cycle persists. Thanksgiving and Christmas benefits are nice, but these people need more than a handout during the holidays - believe me. And if you think you live in a nice area and there aren't any people in need, think again!
"Whatever you do for the least of these...."
8 comments:
Okay- this may be an odd comment to this interesting post--but can you tell me what the difference is between sympathy and empathy, as you see it? I got stuck on your first paragraph, obviously not ever thinking about the difference before....and since then looked up the two words in the dictionary (online). This did little to help me, as they are listed with basically the same definition. Then I googled "empathy versus sympathy" and got so many different conflicting views--that I thought I'd just ask you what you meant when you said you have more of a strength in sympathy than empathy. Just wondering.....because in the past I think I have interchanged these two words without realizing their difference.
I think the difference between the two is that sympathy is feeling sorry for a situation, whereas empathy is sharing a feeling with someone - whether it be sorrow, joy, pain, happiness - it's more relational and sympathy is more of a bereavement, feeling just sorry. Does that make sense??
Also, empathy can be felt to the point that you actually feel the same feelings. We know someone with this gift (I'll tell you who sometime) who can actually get physically ill when someone is ill. Sympathy doesn't usually go to that extreme, just a feeling, not a huge connection or deeper understanding.
Hmmmm....that is interesting, and it does make sense. Of course, I am now analyzing what I seem to feel towards people going through a sad situation. I think I definately experience both. I think God lets us experience empathy when we need to take action in that particular situation. (Like a nudge to help take care of a need rather than just nodding, listening, feeling sorry, and saying a short prayer.) I know there are times when I have felt an intense connection with someone during a hard time, and felt I NEEDED to do something to help relieve the pain or hardship. Other times, I don't feel the need to personally jump in. I think that is okay, too. God leads different people into different situations for different purposes. Sometimes our purpose may be to simply lend an ear or give an encouraging hug. Other times it may be to feel something so powerfully, that we know we will be used by God to help accomplish something for His purposes.
Having said that.....I do believe there ARE people gifted with empathy. In that, they are people just so able to understand the hurt or needs of another that they "just know" exactly what is needed at what time. How special those people are.
I feel God has gifted me with mercy. (There is a connection here, I promise). Which I never realized until later in my life is not a "natural" general reaction in people. I am always the one to understand the other side of a story and want to come to people's defense. I always feel badly for people when they mess up--instead of feeling harshly towards them with an attitude of "they deserved that". With that, comes a fairly easy time forgiving people. I am not one to hold grudges. I believe, in a way, it is a form of empathy.....not quite the same, but I "get" people in trouble. Not to say I feel they are justified in what they do....I just understand how people make huge mistakes, and should have the chance to try and correct those mistakes, instead of immediately being judged. Being "empathetic" by seeing the remorse for the action, or panic, or intentions leading to a behavior--rather than just seeing the behavior itself. And in turn, understanding. (Mercy?) Does that make any kind of sense???
gosh-this comment became much longer than I intended.....sorry! (It's late, and I am tired.) :0)
You most definitely have the gift of mercy and I'm quite certain you have the strength of empathy. You can keep writing... it's a good blog topic!
Okay-After I wrote this comment, I looked up "spiritual gift of mercy" and now I feel like I mis-spoke. I think whatever I am talking about, is not the gift of mercy....which seems to be more about caring for people others do not want to care for. I am not so sure I am led that way. I was thinking it was more a matter of being "merciful" towards someone that has wronged me or someone else. So- I am not sure where that fits. But I believe it is something from God, because human nature in general does not forgive easily.
It is funny, because in your blog about spiritual gift inventories a while back (when you spoke about Moses not taking one, and what if he had?)....I was challenged by what you said on that topic, and it got me thinking of the inventory I took sometime about two years ago. I remember then, that I was surprised when "mercy" did not show up in my top two gifts. Mainly, because my mom always said she recognized that in me. Instead, what came up was "discernment" and I needed to go do research on that, because I wasn't sure what that meant. (I thought it had to do with making wise decisions, when it really has to do with distinguishing good and evil). When I read up on that--I had one of those lightbulb moments....and knew immediately that I indeed had this God given gift. God clearly showed me times in which He used me in this area, and also had me recall aspects of this gift I experienced without knowing that was what was happening. Again, I thought every Christian possessed this gift, and did not realize that wasn't the case. ANYWAY--all this to say, I shouldn't have said I had the gift of mercy. (I do not feel the urge to approach the needy and unloved and take special care of them).
I sometimes wonder, in fact, why I am not more inclined to be that way! :0)
Spiritual Gifts IS an interesting topic. And it is a topic not to tread on lightly, which is what I might have done in my last comment. Sorry!
OK, so we'll call you graciously forgiving - how's that?
I also have the gift of discernment, so I understand that completely (or at least partially!). I think there is great value in understanding how you are spiritually gifted, and I think that it's also very important in understanding how God might intend to use you in His body of believers. I do think that spiritual giftedness is different from personality strengths, though. In keeping with giftedness and strengths, I do think there is value in recognizing areas in which we are NOT gifted or have strengths and it's worth focusing on doing a better job or putting more effort into those areas. They are the things that don't "come naturally" to us, and those often make a bigger impression on others when we are not good at them! It's unfortunate, but the critical eye sees in us and counts it against us oftentimes.
We are just dragging this one out, aren't we now! LOL
Yes....I suppose we are dragging it out!
I agree we should work on our areas of "ungiftedness", but also knowing our limitations sometimes is a good thing. The great thing about spritual gifts is we do not need to rely on ourselves, because if it is truly a God given gift, and He wants to use it, He will make it happen. It is God working, not us, and therefore all the pressure is off!
Unbelievably, I don't have the urge to comment any more than that. :0)
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