What do I think about this? Well, being an adult who was spanked as a child, I would say that the reasoning behind this, that "such a law is needed because spanking victimizes helpless children and breeds violence in society", is completely unfounded. They later go on to talk about "whipping" a 1 year old, which, in my humble opinion, is ENTIRELY different than spanking. Like the article says, they are still working on a definition of "spanking" - obviously.
Around Maryland, this is an extremely interesting subject. I have a good friend who I taught with, a wonderful, loving woman and her husband, who were essentially banned from ever adopting because they would not agree that spanking is never necessary. They were asked during their home visit how they felt about spanking, and both said they would consider it as a means of discipline, especially if a child repeatedly put themselves in danger, let's say, sticking their hand near a socket. Having never been parents, I thought their reasoning was pretty sane myself, but the case worker just looked at them and said, "Well, I will have to fail you for this homestudy. Under no means are you ever to spank your children." And that was that, they are not able to pursue adoption at all, and spanking is not even illegal in Maryland, as far as I know!
When government begins to legislate the way we discipline children, I would think we are in more trouble than just deeming certain extremes of discipline unlawful. When spanking becomes a bipartisan issue (the article states that republican lawmakers thing the law is ridiculous) then we are just being childish! I know plenty of democrats who spank their children, I mean REALLY!! There is nothing partisan about discipline. I'm not sure what precipitated this attempt to dictate how parents should parent, but don't we get enough of that already in public schools??
In my own experience with my own children, I'd have to say that spanking came in most handy between the ages of 2-4, with an occassional hand-smacking (also part of this legislative ban!) before the age of 2 for playing with outlets, throwing of food with plenty of warnings, pulling pet hair, pulling my hair! and various other repeated, willful and defiant behaviors. After the age of 2, spanking was reserved for severe offenses and often just the threat of doing it was enough to end the behavior. I'm not sure other discipline would have been as effective and I certainly didn't want my children behaving the way some unspanked children behave. Yup, I can pick them out pretty quickly!! Of course, some people breed overly compliant children, who never need any form of discipline and never show it, but I think that is rare, genetic and super for you! I personally have yet to meet such a child!
The fact of the matter is, spanking is unpleasant for kids and parents, but it is just a means to an end. If you do not have that end in mind when administering discipline, you ought to not be disciplining at all! I wanted my children to understand that certain negative behaviors are just completely unacceptable, and the choice to willfully act those out would have unpleasant results. Taking away privileges and instituting other consequences are great means of disciplining. I happen to think that spanking fits into that category when appropriate. If you enjoy spanking your child, I would advocate finding another means of discipline - not once have I felt good about having to discipline my child's willful, defiant behavior. Unpleasant yes, but with satisfactory results.
One of the things my sister, brother and I enjoy most when we are together is reminiscing about growing up together in our family. We roll on the floor in hysterics remembering spankings. Each of us had our own way of dealing with them, we each loved watching the others get it, we recall the inch thick "paddle" our father crafted out of scrap wood, sanded and stained to perfection. My mom recalls the day she burned that paddle in the fireplace because it was no longer needed. She also remembers why he made it, and so do we! She was chasing my sister up the stairs with a melmac spoon, which promptly broke in half at the first smack. We all ended up laughing hysterically on the stairs. It was the spanking we all remember best, of course we have no idea why she was getting it! Incidentally, not one of the three of us felt victimized, nor have any of us acted out violently in any way.
I guess after reading this article the most prominent thing in my mind is that spanking does not victimize helpless children or breed violence in society, bad parenting does that, but not spanking. If you want to curb those issues, start investing in young parents, don't vicitimize responsible ones. Differentiate a responsible form of discipline from a senseless, harmful beating by all means, but don't start putting away good parents for trying to shape the behavior of their young child. I personally think this kind of legislature will become a nightmare of parentless children in foster care over simple question, "Are you going to spank me, mommy?" My kids used to ask me this all the time, not because I spanked them all the time (it was a rarity - they'll even tell you that), but because it was their way of determining how wrong they had been. To them, that was their measuring stick for determining how wrong their behavior had been. The act that required a spanking was ranked as a very bad one, and we spent more time debating the hows and whys of spanking requiring behavior than we ever did spanking.
So, why not change that "spanking" into some other form of behavior, like "time out"?? Maybe I am alone in my belief that "time out" was a very unsuccessful form of discipline. My kids enjoyed sitting on the steps, singing to themselves, playing with their fingers, counting ripples in the ceiling. They would complain incessantly about it, but it was not feared in any way, shape or form. When they were older, say 4-6, taking privileges away was much more feared and we used that regularly, replacing spanking completely. The reason? A 2-4 year old really doesn't have the capacity to understand the impact of taking something away like a 4-6 year old does, whereas a spanking, well, they know what that will be like. Most of the time, they are choosing not to be spanked.
I could probably go on and on about this very subject. I can remember having little kids and asking my mom how she felt about spanking now that her kids were all grown up. I love her answer. She said, very simply, "I wish I had done it less, but it worked at the time!" That is exactly how I feel about it as well. I have no incident that I'm guilty or ashamed over. I would love to say that my children were so wonderful or responded so positively to other forms of discipline that spanking was never necessary, but I would be kidding myself. I watch parents who don't spank and think to myself, even now, "One spanking might just be the cure for that defiance!" Who knows!
On a last note, I know this whole post sounds extremely judgemental, and it is of that silly law that I hope never passes. I would like to say that parenting is something that needs to be a combined effort, and all parties need to be comfortable with the forms of discipline used. There are extremely valid arguments against spanking as a form of discipline for some, either that they were abused as children or it just goes against their very nature. In those cases, by all means, do what works for you. I just feel like it's wrong for others, then, to judge the way I choose to shape the behavior of my child. I also feel that, as a parent, you know what works best for your child. I had one who was deathly afraid of a spanking and another who shrugged them off like it was an annoyance. For the second, we quit spanking altogether because it was ineffective. I can count the number of times I spanked her on one hand! Be creative, but hope that someday someone doesn't decide to legislatively ban "time outs" because they exclude children and lead them to become psychopaths!!
Let the whipping begin...(of me, that is!)
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