My father, while he didn't have much, meticulously planned his retirement or early death. His family had an unfortunate history of early death. That was not his first choice (who's is it?) but he planned for it just the same. The result? My mom is well taken care of. She is not living in the lap of luxury, so to speak, but he arranged his retirement in such a way the she benefits from it in his death as they would have had he been alive. That plus insurance money and she becomes no burden to us - that's why we (all three of her children) get to fight over who gets to have her!! Of course, we'd fight over her no matter what!
You can pray for her good friend, though, whose husband, after years of illness passed away a couple weeks ago. He did not leave a will, he did not adjust his retirement to benefit her, I do not think he had a life insurance policy... She cannot afford the $10,000 in property tax and will have to sell her house, she will have to rely on her own retirement from her few years of teaching, she was basically left with nothing.
One of the greatest gifts you can leave your children is to plan for yourself!! I can honestly tell you that I am so thankful that my dad planned the way he did, saved the way he did and raised us the way he did. We didn't have cable TV until I went to college, we ate generic brand food (my dad did ALL the grocery shopping, went to three different stores each week using the specials he found in all the circulars), our big night out for dinner was McDonald's - and we shared french fries, when I worked three jobs each summer to help pay my half of college, he would sit reading the newspaper "help wanted" ads trying to help me find more work!! But, off I went to my small, private Christian college in my Volkswagon Cabriolet that my dad knew was my dream car. He showed me how to make things happen even on the smallest of salaries.
Today, there isn't one out of the three of his children who wouldn't sacrifice to take care of my mother. I really mean that, too. I think we are all amazed at how well my dad did plan for her, in case she were left "alone." It wasn't just financially, it was leaving us all with a sense of loving responsibility, a sense of respect for our elders and the remembrance of how we were sacrificially cared for by him. My dad never owned a sports car (well, OK, maybe that stripped down mustang!), never made it a habit to buy nice things, never bought that boat he dreamed about or bought the house on a lake that he always wanted. Yet, I don't remember him ever being unhappy with his life nor would I ever think any of those material things would have been on his list of regrets. His regrets most likely were that he didn't travel more with my mom, didn't buy her the house of her dreams, that he didn't live long enough to enjoy all his grandchildren.
I guess when you grow up watching someone labor in love to provide for his family and share with you all his grandiose plans for his financial future, you actually learn more than just how to manage your money. You learn that it's OK to admit to your children that you don't have enough money for certain things, that life can be fun without many of those things and that taking care of your family is more important than any of those things. It grieves me that his friend of my mom not only is being left with nothing, but that her three children do not feel it is their responsibility to help her. That is just pitiful.
Plan for every possibility, even the ones you don't think can happen, and teach your children the value in taking care of people, not things!
You can pray for her good friend, though, whose husband, after years of illness passed away a couple weeks ago. He did not leave a will, he did not adjust his retirement to benefit her, I do not think he had a life insurance policy... She cannot afford the $10,000 in property tax and will have to sell her house, she will have to rely on her own retirement from her few years of teaching, she was basically left with nothing.
One of the greatest gifts you can leave your children is to plan for yourself!! I can honestly tell you that I am so thankful that my dad planned the way he did, saved the way he did and raised us the way he did. We didn't have cable TV until I went to college, we ate generic brand food (my dad did ALL the grocery shopping, went to three different stores each week using the specials he found in all the circulars), our big night out for dinner was McDonald's - and we shared french fries, when I worked three jobs each summer to help pay my half of college, he would sit reading the newspaper "help wanted" ads trying to help me find more work!! But, off I went to my small, private Christian college in my Volkswagon Cabriolet that my dad knew was my dream car. He showed me how to make things happen even on the smallest of salaries.
Today, there isn't one out of the three of his children who wouldn't sacrifice to take care of my mother. I really mean that, too. I think we are all amazed at how well my dad did plan for her, in case she were left "alone." It wasn't just financially, it was leaving us all with a sense of loving responsibility, a sense of respect for our elders and the remembrance of how we were sacrificially cared for by him. My dad never owned a sports car (well, OK, maybe that stripped down mustang!), never made it a habit to buy nice things, never bought that boat he dreamed about or bought the house on a lake that he always wanted. Yet, I don't remember him ever being unhappy with his life nor would I ever think any of those material things would have been on his list of regrets. His regrets most likely were that he didn't travel more with my mom, didn't buy her the house of her dreams, that he didn't live long enough to enjoy all his grandchildren.
I guess when you grow up watching someone labor in love to provide for his family and share with you all his grandiose plans for his financial future, you actually learn more than just how to manage your money. You learn that it's OK to admit to your children that you don't have enough money for certain things, that life can be fun without many of those things and that taking care of your family is more important than any of those things. It grieves me that his friend of my mom not only is being left with nothing, but that her three children do not feel it is their responsibility to help her. That is just pitiful.
Plan for every possibility, even the ones you don't think can happen, and teach your children the value in taking care of people, not things!
2 comments:
My grandmother bought and paid for her funeral while she was still alive so her children wounldn't be burdened with the costs.
When my father died his disability from the government stopped and left my mother with just a small amount of money to live on. Their house was paid for and insurance covered the burial. From constantly borrowing from Mom most of her children have done an about face and started helping her.
Nice to know that families can look out for each other. I think (HOPE!) the one mentioned is the exception, not the rule!
Post a Comment