Friday, October 24, 2008

Mental Block

So, here I sit, at the computer, as always. I need to get away from this thing. I signed myself up for an all day "crop" tomorrow - scrapbooking. It's been a very long time since I've done this, but since Em finally asked me last weekend where HER baby album is, I'm feeling like the time is right. I know, I know.... she'll be 8 this January. I am way behind.

About 6 months after Em was born, my father was diagnosed with Lymphoma. I was already a year or so behind in Kt's scrapbooking. From that point on, it just hasn't been any fun at all. It's been 5 years since he died, 7 years since I've put any good effort into scrapbooking. Tonight I was sorting through a bunch of pictures and again.... it's just difficult to know where to start and to even look back and remember - first Thanksgiving without him, how little Em was, his first grand daughter that didn't get to meet, when she almost died. Just so many things I kind of want to forget, but know I need to remember.

So, scrapbooking. I'm kind of wishing I didn't sign up for this pain. Might it possibly be therapeutic? maybe. At least it will keep one of my daughters from wondering if I didn't love her as much!

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