Why Men are Happier

I got this hysterical email from my mom. I wish I knew who wrote it, because it is so funny!! (sorry about the blogger issues - I am having several of them today!!!!)

Men Are Just Happier People 

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never
get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell,
you can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You
never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress: $5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People
never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your
friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations
are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have
strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face
and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for
all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You
can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.